Key Lime Pie Perjury: Cozy Mystery (MURDER IN THE MIX Book 34) Read online

  I shake my head, trying to put that entire nightmare behind me.

  Both Noah and Everett are about half a decade older than me, somewhere in their mid-thirties, with Everett being a touch older than Noah.

  “Lemon.” Everett gives me a kiss as I sail into their midst. Everett almost always calls me by my surname, and I think it’s so sweet I wouldn’t dare try to stop him. “You look ravishing.” That look in his eyes lets me know he plans on ravishing me later, and I highly approve.

  My lips flicker in response. “Thank you.”

  “I concur.” Noah shakes his head as his eyes ride up and down my body. He leans in and lands a rather chaste kiss to my cheek, and I give an approving smile his way.

  “Well, you both look far too handsome for your own good,” I tell them in a feeble attempt to return the compliment.

  The men standing with them belt out a genuine belly laugh.

  “Lottie”—Noah pulls me in and wraps an arm around my waist—“this is Duncan Spears,” he says, pointing to the blond man, about mid-forties with mesmerizing clear green eyes. There’s a boyishness about him, and he seems like the kind of guy everybody gets along with. “Duncan owns the boat and kayak rentals down at Honey Lake.”

  “Pleasure to meet you.” He quickly shakes my hand. He has a pleasant smile, but there’s a gleam in his eyes that suggests he’s up to no good, and it makes me like him all the more. “We rent Jet Skis, too. If you’re ever in the mood to get wild on the lake, I’m your man.” He laughs and winks at the double entendre.

  Noah clears his throat. “And this gentlemen is Henrick Dayton.” He nods to the dark-haired man with the matching dark mustache and wide smile. “He’s the owner of everything else down at Honey Lake. The boat rentals, most of the boats, the restaurants, and several of the shops.”

  “Henrick,” I say as I brighten. “Nice to finally meet you. You’re practically a legend in Honey Hollow.” Because he happens to be a bona fide billionaire. And judging by how much the people of Honey Hollow love their water sports, I’m guessing Duncan isn’t doing so bad either.

  “A legend in his own mind.” Duncan laughs. “It’s all in good fun.” He elbows Henrick in the ribs. “We’re competitive. Lottie, may I ask if your dance card is full for the evening?”

  “Yes, it is,” Everett answers for me as he plucks me from Noah’s arms. “Duncan, Henrick, Lemon is my wife.”

  “Ah, yes.” Duncan rocks back on his heels. “I recall something about an infamous love triangle between the three of you.”

  Henrick chuckles. “Well, Duncan and I are competitive in business. We’re too smart to fight over women.”

  Duncan’s clear green eyes flit to Henrick, and he offers a tight smile.

  The two of them take off, and Everett gives me a twirl.

  “You are a sight to behold, Lemon.” His lips curl with lascivious intent.

  “She is.” Noah picks up my other hand and twirls me in his direction. “May I have the first dance?”

  My mouth opens to speak when I spot something by the entry. It’s Carlotta and Charlie shaking one another by the shoulders in a rather aggressive manner, shouting at one another and looking downright miserable in their pretty pastel dresses.

  “Of course, Noah,” I say. “But just a heads-up, I think there’s trouble brewing.”

  A tiny curly-haired white pooch appears from seemingly nowhere as it yips and snaps its way over, and I coo at the sight of the darling little thing.

  “Oh my word, I bet you’re lost,” I say, bending over and picking it up. “Oh, isn’t he or she cute?” I say to Noah and Everett, but they’re both looking at me with a genuine look of horror on their faces. “Oh no.” I gasp as I look back at the tiny puppy just as he lets out a couple of obnoxiously loud yips before disappearing into a vat of miniature blue stars.

  “Oh yes,” Noah says. “That was a ghost in your arms, wasn’t it, Lot?”

  “The cutest little furry ghost you ever did see.” I let out a breath as I look to the crowd. “Brace yourselves, boys. This night ends in murder.”

  Lottie

  “Come on, Lottie.” Noah takes me by the hand in an attempt to pluck me out of Everett’s arms. “We’d better get a quick dance in before bodies start dropping to the floor.”

  Everett’s chest bounces. “I’m sure Sheriff Turner is thrilled he let you back on the force.”

  “He is,” Noah deadpans.

  Last January, the ghost of the homicide victim whose case we were trying to solve came back to help do the solving. That was an oddity unto itself since the ghost that shows up to help solve the case is always a person or a pet the deceased loved the most—suspiciously just like that cute little pooch that up and disappeared in my arms. But last January, the ghost that came to help out was the victim herself, Florenza Angel Face Canelli—the niece of the infamous mobster, Jimmy Canelli.

  And, well, predictably it was a disaster.

  The long and short of it? Flo blackmailed the three of us into stealing her body from the morgue in lieu of promising to help stop a mob war, among other threats that were loosely connected to my bakery and Everett’s seat on the bench.

  Everett tried to warn me that stealing Flo’s body was a bad idea, but Noah said he could really use the heads-up as far as that mob war went—and I gave the final go-ahead.

  I wanted to help Noah head that mob war off at the pass, and it backfired spectacularly. The mob war sort of happened. Both Everett and Noah were arrested and lost their jobs. Noah was cleared pretty quickly, but the security camera at the morgue had Everett’s face on the security footage. Let’s just say it took some fancy legal footwork to untangle that knot, but Everett is finally cleared to preside over his courtroom once again.

  Everett’s chest thumps with a dark laugh. “Although I’m not sure why Sheriff Turner would be glad you’re back, Lemon has solved every homicide for you for the last two years. How long have you been the lead homicide detective in Ashford again, Noah? That’s right, two years.” Everett glowers at him for a moment. “Why don’t you make yourself useful and call for backup? I’ll dance with my wife. Or if you really want to ignore your call to duty, try to find Cormack. I’m sure she’d be delighted to dance with you.”

  Cormack Featherby is a featherheaded socialite that these two sides of beef grew up with. Once upon a time, Noah and Everett were stepbrothers. Yes, Noah’s con man of a father, Wiley Fox, took Everett’s hotel heiress of a mother for a ride that left her high and dry financially. Then he skipped town and faked his own death. And now that treasure of a man is back from the dead and dating my poor mother—poor in both the literal and figurative sense, both of which are his fault, by the way.

  Anyway, Cormack was Everett’s girlfriend in high school right up until Noah thought fit to swipe her from under him and thus began the war of the ages. Everett’s ego was bruised at the time, but he’s over it now. Although Noah is still convinced that Everett suddenly became interested in me while the two of us were dating just to try to even the score. It’s not true, of course.

  I am currently married to Everett, and it did start off because of a legal obligation Everett needed to fulfill as a means to secure his trust fund, but I digress. The three of us are past all of those relationship road bumps. Mostly.

  “I’m not dancing with Cormack,” Noah growls just as Cormack herself crops up and gloms onto him.

  Her dress is hot pink, her hair is butter yellow, and her teeth are as white as they are porcelain veneers.

  “There you are, Big Boss!” She lands a wet one right over his cheek. Cormack has grown quite obsessed with Noah over the last year now that Everett is taken. And no matter how much he rebuffs her advances, he can’t seem to shake her. “Lucky for you, I’ve got my dancing shoes on. Let’s go show these two how it’s done.”

  “Not without me,” a female voice calls out just as the two women Brit introduced me to earlier step into our circle, along with Brit herself. “Come on now, Cor
mack”—the brunette steps in close, her eyes swinging from Noah to Everett—“introduce me to these handsome gentlemen.”

  Britney laughs. “Girls, this is Detective Noah Fox.” She nods his way. “My ex-husband. We share custody of our golden retriever, Toby. And this here”—she says, nodding to my handsome husband—“is Judge Essex Baxter. But unless you’ve had the privilege to be taken to the good judge’s private chambers, he prefers you call him Everett.”

  “That I do,” Everett says, and the women shake his hand so quickly it looks as if he’s being accosted—same with Noah.

  Side note: Britney has never visited the good judge’s chambers. She thinks it’s humorous to call him Essex. Everett’s mother and sister call him Essex, and so does Noah’s stubborn mother Suze, but outside of that the rule pretty much applies.

  The redhead, Lorelei, pulls her shoulders back. “Well, it seems as if you’re unattached, Detective.”

  “He’s attached to me,” Cormack growls. “I’m sorry, girls, you’ll have to fill your dance card elsewhere.” She cranes her neck into the crowd. “Would you look at that? Duncan Spears is hitting on that brunette over by the dessert table. Why don’t the two of you snatch him up?”

  Both women make a face at the sight of him.

  That’s odd. I wonder why? He seems handsome enough. And he was both funny and kind when we met a few minutes ago.

  “I’m married.” Karen glares at Duncan as if it were his fault. “I think I’ll go find Dennis.” She takes off, and I lean toward Britney.

  “I take it Dennis is her husband?” I ask.

  “When the mood strikes.” Lorelei gives a little wink before making a beeline for the dessert table.

  “Don’t listen to her.” Britney shakes her head before plucking Cormack off of Noah. “Come on, Mack. Let’s hit the bar. We both know you’re not getting lucky with Noah tonight. You need a real prospect to deal with.”

  Cormack huffs and protests as Britney drags her off to get her good and liquored up.

  But my eyes drift back toward Lorelei, where she seems to have cornered Duncan, and it looks as if an argument has broken out between them.

  “How about some dessert before we hit the dance floor?” I ask as I navigate Noah and Everett in that direction.

  Both Lily Swanson and Suze Fox are working the station for me tonight. Lily is in her late twenties like me. Her dark hair sits in neat coils, and she has perennially tanned skin and a cutthroat beauty about her. And she happens to be wearing a Cutie Pie Bakery and Cakery apron over her cream-colored regency dress. Growing up, Lily was Naomi’s best friend and they worked as a team to make sure my high school days were wrought in misery, but now that Lily works for me at the bakery, we seem to get along just fine.

  Suze, on the other hand, has never cared for me, and most likely never will. She’s donned jeans and a T-shirt, and her short blonde hair sweeps across her eyes as per usual. Suze is a stocky woman, quick to judge, and always has a frown at the ready. She’s not thrilled that Noah is Lyla Nell’s father, she’s definitely not thrilled to be a grandmother, and oddly enough, she happens to be transmundane like me.

  Transmundane is the banner under which many supernatural abilities seem to fall under, and my own supernatural quirk happens to be one of them. I’m what’s called supersensual, meaning I can see the dead. There are other powers that fall under the transmundane umbrella, such as mind reading, seeing glimpses into the future, and the ability to bend other people’s will and that of nature as well. That last quirk happens to belong to Suze. She’s what’s known as a beguiler. She says her powers aren’t that strong, and believe me, I’m not going to argue with her on the matter. This is one instance where her Negative Nelly routine just might work in my favor. The last thing anyone needs is for Suze Fox to mold the world into her sourpuss viewpoint.

  “Lottie”—Lily snips—“have you decided which dessert you’re going to kill your next victim with? We’re running low on ingredients at the bakery, and I’m waiting for you to strike again before I put in the order.”

  “You won’t have to wait long,” Carlotta says as she pops up next to me from out of the blue. “Not only do Foxy and Sexy have the hots for my Lot Lot, the Grim Reaper does, too.” Foxy and Sexy are the nicknames Carlotta has for Noah and Everett. “Doctor Death does whatever she tells him to. I’d watch my back if I were you, Suze.”

  I glance to my left a moment to see Noah and Everett having a rather covert conversation a few feet away. It looks intense, angry even. A few weeks back, my grandma Nell came back from the other side to tell me that the two of them were in some kind of trouble and that it could lead to serious consequences for Lyla Nell and me. I wonder if that’s what they’re discussing? More than likely it has to do with the body ready to drop.

  “Never mind her, Suze,” I say. “You’re all safe. Go ahead and put in the regular order tomorrow, Lily.”

  “That’s the thing,” Lily says. “There is no regular order. You’ve been slaughtering people with your sweet treats so often that the order is always bloated with that one dessert the masses are going to flock in for.”

  It’s true. Every last homicide victim in Honey Hollow has had one of my sweet treats on or near their person at the moment of their unfortunate demise. It’s off-putting to say the least—at least to me. The dessert hungry crowds don’t seem to mind in the least.

  Carlotta nods. “I’ve got ten bucks on the key lime pie. It’s pretty darn good, and I wouldn’t mind myself if it were the last thing I ate.”

  “Neither would I.” A devious smile glides on my face and she waves me off.

  “This isn’t a time to wish death upon me, Lot. Rooster Puddin’ is on his way, and once he gets here, all heck is going to break loose in Honey Hollow.”

  Lily leans in. “Who’s Rooster?”

  Carlotta scoffs her way. “Only the sexiest man in the west, that’s who. He’s armed, and dangerous, and knows his way around a woman’s body like nobody’s business.”

  “Eww,” I say. “And this is the guy that dated Charlie, too? Carlotta, that’s sick and twisted.”

  “Oh, you’ll want him, too, as soon as you lay eyes on him.”

  Suze raises a hand. “I’ll bet ten bucks on that one.”

  I make a face as I turn back in the direction of Noah and Everett, but they’ve moved over a few more feet, and I have a clear shot of Duncan talking to a tall woman with gray wiry hair this time. She shakes her head aggressively at him before splashing her wine in his face.

  I suck in a quick breath at the sight.

  The woman dives into the crowd and disappears, but Duncan comes over to the dessert table, dries himself off with a napkin before snapping up a slice of my key lime pie and taking off into the crowd.

  “I think I’d better dance with my husband before the night takes a dark turn,” I say just as Noah comes up and wraps his arms around me.

  “Wrong husband,” Suze snickers, but Noah and I choose to ignore her as we head off.

  We dive deep into the crowd of swaying bodies and wrap our arms around one another as moody classical music swims through the air.

  Noah’s chest expands as he washes his gaze over me. “You are the most beautiful woman in this room, Lottie.”

  “You’re only saying that because Lyla Nell isn’t in it,” I tease. My chest starts to tingle. I’ve been nursing Lyla Nell nonstop for the last three months, and every time I’m away from her, my boobs turn into rock-hard boulders right before they start to weep. Yes, weep, as in letting down my milk. It’s some autonomic response I have no control over. Thus the fact I’ve had to stuff my bra tonight to keep from splashing everyone with them. I’ve already pumped several bottles, so Lyla Nell is well taken care of for the night, but my body doesn’t seem to care.

  Noah’s dimples go off. “Our daughter sure is a beauty.”

  “And once she’s ready to date, I’m sure she’ll be drop-dead gorgeous.”

  “Who says she’s al
lowed to date?” Noah’s shoulders twitch at the thought. “Good thing I pack heat. I’ll pick off any kid who dares to look at her with ill-intent.”

  I laugh at the thought. “You’re a good father, Noah.”

  “And you’re a wonderful mother.”

  “Thank you. Oh, and speaking of which, that woman we met earlier, Lorelei? She invited us to a mommy and me class. She said they’re encouraging fathers to come, too.”

  “Mommy and me?”

  “Yeah, it’s where you bring your infants and bond with them through games. It’s a social thing. Lainey and Keelie say it’s loads of fun.”

  “Just tell me when and I’ll be there.” He presses his evergreen eyes to mine. “I’d move the Earth right out of the solar system for you and Lyla Nell. I know that we’re not together, not like we were, but you’ve made me the happiest man alive, Lottie Lemon.” He brushes a kiss over my forehead just as I’m twirled in another direction.

  “May I cut in?” Everett’s lips twitch with the beginnings of a dangerous smile, and soon he’s whisked me clear to the other end of the dance floor.

  A laugh bubbles in my throat, and I’m about to say something when my eyes snag on two men by the back exit. It’s Duncan and Henrick, the dark-haired billionaire. Henrick has his hands on Duncan’s arms, and he looks as if he’s shaking him. A running theme tonight. I’m about to point it out to Everett, but we’ve twirled and whirled once again and those gentlemen are both out of sight.

  “Lemon,” Everett groans as he says my name, sort of the way he does when he’s in the throes of passion. “You are sending me places in that dress. I can’t take my eyes off—”

  “My heaving bosom?” I tease.

  “All of you,” he counters.