Low Down & Dirty Read online

  The Pelican God expands his grin and takes my hand. “You must be Alexa. I’m Levi Masterson.”

  My mouth opens, ready to correct him, and before the words ever tumble out, I choke on them.

  Oh my shit. The Pelican God is Levi! This dark-haired Adonis is none other than Raven Masterson’s older, hella hotter brother. It’s no wonder she didn’t dare bring him into the sexy mix sooner. There’s no way in hell I would have—could have stopped myself from doing everything in my power to get this bad boy to yield on my mattress.

  Raven’s battle cry comes back to me. And whatever you do, please, for the love of all things holy, DO NOT SEDUCE MY BROTHER.

  I scowl over at him a moment because I can see her hiding there in his eyes.

  “I’m—” The lie skips in my throat, and as much as I try to swallow it down, I can’t seem to stop it. “It’s just, Lex, actually.” Oh hell, what’s a little fun and free food among friends?

  Those eyes penetrate me right down to my most intimate part, and it’s as if I’ve already hit a home run for the evening—the first of many I’m hoping.

  His lips twitch as if he had plans for the two of us this evening that involved copious amounts of munching—just not necessarily anything of the food variety that they may have to offer. He smacks his friend over the shoulder. “This is my business partner, Brody Wolf. He’ll get you started on your first dish.” He gives his buddy a shove without taking those lucent lenses off me. “I’ll take you to your seat.”

  “Business partner?” My heart skips a beat, and I’m not sure why. Most likely because Raven’s big bro is both dangerously handsome and reasonably financially stable—two qualities I never seem to find in a man. “You own the place?”

  “That’s right.” His grin snaps back into position. It looks as if Raven left all of the fun little financial details out of our conversation. “And soon, I hope to own your heart.”

  My entire body seizes with pleasure as if I’ve been waiting to hear those magic words all my life, but he grimaces just as fast as the words spewed from him.

  “I meant to say stomach.” That charming smile bounces back to his lips.

  “I think you had it right the first time.”

  We share a cordial laugh as he leads me to a nearby table. My God! Wouldn’t it have been nice if he meant heart? Imagine the meet-cute we could share with our grandchildren one day. Grandma was a fucking liar, and Grandpa, well, he was fucking hot. This could be the start of something amazing, and if I’m lucky, something low down and dirty in about an hour or two.

  This is going to be so much damn fun. Let the delicious games begin.

  Levi sits me close to the bar where the aged coeds take turns scowling at me for snapping up for myself the catch of the day—two of them actually.

  Brody brings out dish after dish, and I dive right in.

  “Thank you!” It takes everything in me not to lunge headfirst into the clam chowder set before me in a bronzed bread bowl that’s making my senses faint with desire. Both Brody and Levi stand hovering on either side of me, and I glance up with a greedy smile of my own. “Didn’t Shakespeare once say there has never been a sweeter meal than that which you didn’t have to pay for?” Okay, so quoting The Bard has never come naturally for me, but I’m pretty sure every food critic worth her salt says a few words before basking in bread bowls full of carbohydrates.

  Levi’s brows furrow before he flexes those dimples at me once again. “It’s all for you, Lex. Enjoy.”

  I indulge in a quick spoonful and moan the ever-loving shit out of it. “Oh my Gawd!” I howl. “This is fantastic.” I take another loving, creamy spoonful before noticing a dapper, dark-haired dude in a full-blown suit squinting at me from the bar before he shoots a look to Levi and Brody. He’s probably just envious of the impressive spread laid before me. Either that or he thinks I’m a brazen glutton. He would so be right, but who the hell cares? Clam chowder for the win!

  I gobble up the chowder as fast as I can and note the fact he’s still ogling me, his eyes straining as if I had somehow offended him. He nods Brody over, and they take off for the back, but I really don’t give a crap because Levi has just furnished me with a smattering of appetizers that span from hot wings to coconut shrimp and for the next ten minutes I’m in smorgasbord heaven.

  Levi clears his throat and glances over my shoulder with a look of apprehension, so I follow his gaze only to find two of Hollow Brook’s finest dressed in blue headed this way, each with a hand secured over his weapon.

  “Hello, ma’am.” The beefy one starts, and I nearly choke on a chicken wing. “It’s my understanding, you’re dining here tonight as a food critic. You mind if we see some credentials?”

  Shit. I bounce back in my seat and accidentally take the tablecloth with me, sending the wings flying once again as Levi tries his best to juggle them to safety.

  “All right, let’s go.” Officer number two lifts me out of my seat by the wrist. “I’m placing you under arrest.”

  “No—it’s not what it seems!” I shout as he folds my arms neatly behind my back—much to the delight of those aging coeds seated at the bar. I open my mouth to say something in my defense and close it again.

  Oh hell, it’s exactly what it seems.

  I’m going to kill Raven for this lousy idea. Then I’m going to hunt down Lex and kill her for the other lousy idea. And lastly, I’m going to wring my own neck for being such a damn jinx.

  Worst day ever, indeed.

  Levi

  Arrested.

  I growl at the poor girl without meaning to as the cops try to hustle her toward the exit. Honestly, when she walked through the door, for the first time in a good long while I felt something—a prickle, a tickle, hell a fucking hard-on. Whatever it was, I felt it. I hadn’t felt anything in so long it was almost foreign to me, like a beautiful invasion on a cellular level. And she’s pretty, too. Hell, she’s hot.

  Ever since we opened The Sloppy Pelican a few months back, girls have been hitting on me by the droves, but not one of them invoked that spear of surprise, of lust in me the way she did. Or maybe I was just intoxicated with the idea of getting a good review that it wouldn’t have mattered what she looked like. Maybe I would have had the same response anyway.

  But The Sloppy Pelican isn’t getting a good review tonight by one of the most sought-after food critics in the area because the girl turned out to be a fraud. Only someone with my fucked-up luck could have a fraudulent food critic show up on the most important night of the year.

  If this place doesn’t pick up soon, I’ll be forced to borrow over and above what I’ve already borrowed, and God knows there’s not a bank on the planet that will offer me that much leverage.

  “You can’t arrest me!” she howls, digging her feet into the wood floor, leaving two thick tracks in the wake of her heels. Great. Not only did she essentially steal two hundred dollars’ worth of food, but she’s marking up the floors to forever remind me of this horrible night and her gorgeous body. I couldn’t help but notice those perfect tits. I’m a pig. I was salivating before she ever said hello.

  Brody slaps me over the arm and nods to the bar where just about everyone is standing at attention with their phones held out documenting the debacle. Perfect. I wanted publicity, and I sure as hell got it.

  Shit.

  The girl struggles with the officer until her hands slip free and she makes every effort to run back in this direction. Her dirty blonde hair is tousled as if she just rolled out of my bed, and the makeup around her eyes is smudged just enough. And that body. A girl with that body in that dress with those sky-high killer heels probably does deserve to get arrested tonight.

  “Levi!” she screams, and I straighten at the mention of my name. Our eyes lock momentarily, and instantly I not only regret introducing myself, I regret showing up at all. That face, those eyes. Whoever she is, she’ll be haunting my dreams for years to come. “You can’t let them do this!” They hustle her to the
door once again, and a part of me is relieved.

  A couple of patrons shout at her to get lost, and she chokes with anger in their direction. “Screw you! I bet the food you’re eating was once a lump of plastic! Microwaved to perfection by the haughty, uptight Gestapo who runs this place. All BPA dinnerware is included for your dining pleasure! Would you like an extra serving of xenoestrogens with your food? Because that’s what you’re getting! You’ll all be girls by midnight.”

  At least three different men let the fork slip from their fingers.

  “Shit,” I hiss in disbelief.

  Brody shakes his head as he makes his way over. “She may as well have put a curse on this place. The sooner this loon is out of our lives, the better for everyone—most likely her as well. She’s probably some college kid who’s been scamming the local restaurants for a free burger for months. I bet kids pull this crap all the time at the Black Bear.”

  “Levi!” she screams once again as they get her on the other side of the door, and the atmosphere in the restaurant decompresses to subnormal levels. It’s unnaturally quiet, and then spontaneously an applause breaks out at the bar.

  Brody lifts a finger to say something, but the door blows open once again and it’s her again, struggling to get that cop’s arm off from around her waist.

  Her eyes meet with mine, wild with rage. “Raven is going to kill you for this!”

  The cop nods over to me with a nonchalant look that suggests this isn’t his first coed rodeo as he whisks her out the door with a marked finality.

  “What did she say?” I look to Brody just as Axel, the third partner in the Sloppy Pelican disaster, comes over.

  “I talked to the cops.” Ax lands a hand on my shoulders. “I knew she wasn’t the right girl the moment I laid eyes on her. I dated Lex a while back.” He shrugs as if it were no big deal, but something about the way his eyes cut to the bar suggests it is. “Anyway, glad we got her.”

  Brody tips his head my way. “Ditto, but that was sort of odd the way she seemed to know Raven. You think it was a lucky guess?”

  “Raven.” I tick my head back a notch. “Yes. I thought that’s what she said.” My heart thumps wild. “I’ve got a very bad feeling about this. I’d better see what that’s about.” I take off, and by the time I get outside, the squad car has already disappeared out of sight.

  I pluck my phone out of my pocket and put in a quick call to my little sister. I know she’s in New York for business, but it’s after hours, and I need a few answers to the bizarre puzzle this night is quickly becoming.

  “Hello, handsome!” she answers on the first ring. Raven has been treating me with kid gloves for the last few months—nine months to be exact. But being extra cheery and calling me all the right things has always been a part of her charm. She’s my little sister, my only sister, and I love her more than anyone on this planet—my mom is just about neck-in-neck. “So, how’d you like her?” I can hear the faint hint of a giggle on her end.

  “Like who?” The night air cuts through me, but I’m numb with shock and don’t feel the chill the way I should. “Did you have something to do with what just went on in here?” My voice hikes a notch. I have never raised my voice with Raven, but on a night like tonight, when I had so much riding on this, it makes me want to roar into the receiver.

  “Hell yes, I did. Now behave yourself. This isn’t a setup. In fact, I forbid you to even look at her without the chastest intentions. Why don’t you think of her like more of a little sister? Ha! That’s perfect! Congrats! You’ve got a new sibling! And it’s a girl!” She trills with glee, and I’m far more baffled than I was when I picked up the phone.

  “Wait. Are we talking about the same person? I just had some chick come into The Pelican pretending to be a food critic and—”

  “Hold on—Low just sent me a text.” She goes silent a moment. “Holy shit!” she barks so loud I’m forced to pull the phone from my ear. “You had her ARRESTED? What the hell is wrong with you? If I were in North Carolina, I’d drive right over to Hollow Brook and kick your ass! Right after I bailed her out. And since I’m not there to do so, get in your truck and get your wallet ready, because nobody puts my bestie in a corner—or in a prison cell!” she riots into my ear until I do as I’m told, and before I know it, I’m attempting to drop all charges, begging the booking deputy to reverse this nightmare, but he sets bail instead and I quickly pony up two grand.

  “Shit,” I mutter as I wait for him to usher her through those iron gates.

  Live with me? I try to recall the word salad Raven tossed my way. She claims she meant to call me earlier. This girl is homeless? Jobless? And the best solution out of about a million others is to have this chick hole up in my spare bedroom? Crap. I shake my head at the thought. If anyone would have told me a year ago that Meredith and I wouldn’t be together, wouldn’t be speaking, that I would leave the firm—absolve myself of everything I learned in law school, and open up a glorified bar with my childhood friends—and let’s not forget Harlow—Low Hartley, Raven’s best friend in the whole wide world—her words not mine, no, I wouldn’t believe any of it.

  A set of heels click their way over, obnoxiously angry, and the gate magically glides back as she stalks my way. There she is, the scowl on her face, beautiful as it might be, assures me she’s pissed.

  The deputy shakes his head my way. “Good luck,” he mumbles before heading back, and the gate seals us on the right side of the law.

  “Good luck,” she huffs as she struts on past me. The faint scent of her sugary perfume has my dick back on heightened alert. “Don’t just stand there.” She glances over her shoulder, and those red, hot as fuck lips call to me. “If you don’t mind, I’d like to make a speedy getaway!”

  I follow her out and lead her to the truck. I help her in and we take off, leaving the Hollow Brook Police Department in our wake.

  “I talked to Raven,” I say it low, mostly to myself, because quite frankly, I’m still in a bit of shock at the turn of events this night has taken.

  The girl next to me balks, gesticulating wildly with her hand as if she were inebriated, but I know she’s still worked up. Getting arrested can make even the demurest person a bit unhinged. Not that I would know, but deductive logic has always been my strong suit.

  “How about if we start over?” I offer as we head onto the main thoroughfare. “I’m Levi Masterson. I hear you’re my sister’s very best friend in the whole wide world.” I didn’t mean for it to come out stinging with sarcasm, but in truth I can still hear Raven’s voice in my ear, and I was simply mimicking her inflection.

  “Wow,” she huffs incredulously, letting me know I’ve gone too far and, since deductive logic is my strong suit, yes, I’ve surmised that much myself. “You really are something. It’s no wonder she’s said nothing about you for the last eight years I’ve known her.”

  “You’ve known Raven for eight years?” I chew on that for a minute as I try to tally all the friends of hers I’ve met over time, and I can’t think of any since before our father died over a million years ago.

  “That’s right. She was my roommate at Briggs. She and I were inseparable up until she blew up in the advertising world. Now that she’s globe-trotting—shooting underwear ads all over the planet, I’m more of a texting BFF than anything tangible.”

  “Did you say underwear ads?” A brief vision of meeting up with her on location flits through my mind. I’ve seen those underwear catalogs lying around, and the chicks are smoking hot. I bet Raven is in charge of an entire calendar’s worth. And just as the thought enters my mind, I blink it away. I don’t need a girl in my life right now. I’m still too steeped in survival mode to sustain anything with anybody else.

  “Down, boy.” She sneers at me. “It’s male underwear models.”

  “Shit.” I hit the brakes a little too hard as I come upon a red light. “Why did you have to tell me that?” I close my eyes for a second, trying to deflect any visuals of my sweet baby sis sur
rounded by oiled up men with their hoses front and center.

  “Oh, did I hurt you?” Her voice grows tiny and weak, fueled with enough sarcasm to let me know I’m in for it. “That’s right! Sweet little baby Raven is surrounded by long, hot, and, oh heck, they’re probably hard—penises all the livelong day! And if that’s not bad enough for you, she volunteered to oil those boys up herself before each and every shoot. She’s touching those bad boys—smearing her hands over those rock-hard chests! And just before they get in front of the camera—she pulls open that waistband and makes sure their junk is in prime position for their close-up, baby!”

  A groan evicts itself from my throat. She couldn’t have sucker punched me better if she aimed straight for my balls. I drive us to The Sloppy Pelican, and she points to a beat-up Honda sitting near the dumpsters.

  “You can follow me the rest of the way.” It comes out depleted because, let’s face it, she’s won this round.

  “Perfect,” she snaps back as if it were anything but.

  She jumps out before I come to a stop and slams the door shut like a gunshot.

  She never did introduce herself.

  Raven is going to owe me for this.

  Big time.

  The drive to Hollow Brook Hills is a dark and silent one. The Hills are known for their enclave of overgrown homes with far too many square feet and far too few occupants. Meredith lives in the house we once shared just two miles to my left, but my home, the one we had bought as a rental property is of a humble size with a humble yard, sitting in the middle of a not so humble neighborhood. I’ll admit, it’s been quiet these last few months. I have never lived alone up until this point in my life. First, there was my rambunctious family, sharing a room with my brother—a despicable excuse for a human whom I once deeply loved. And then I lived with Brody, my college roommate whom I would never even dream of saddling Harlow with if he happened to be down on his luck. And, of course, then with Mer. And here we are. I pull into the driveway and frown at the Honda sputtering to a stop in front of the house. And now I’ll live with a lunatic for an unspecified spate of time. I think it’s only fair I dock Raven a gift at Christmas next year for this crime against my sanity. Wasn’t she the one begging me to take things slow? Lay low and avoid the estrogen-laden radar?