Crown of Ashes Read online

  “I am a father now. It’s all very new, but I’m in love. I’m so deep in, my bones ache with sweetness when I think about my girl. She really is an angel.”

  She lays down another matching set, and I fold. “You must cheat. Nobody wins that much.”

  “I never cheat. I just know how to play the game very, very well.” She wrinkles her nose. “Do you think you’ll call her that—Angel, when the time comes?”

  My entire body heats at the thought of procreating with Skyla, our bodies moving in a unified rhythm, her heavy breathing searing over my chest.

  I clear my throat. “Skyla and I can’t have children, not now, not ever. I happen to be Team Gage.” I glance up at the proverbial ceiling in the event Candace is listening.

  “You will, though.” She reshuffles the deck and hands out the cards. “I mean, Angel is sort of living proof.”

  I stare at her an inordinate amount of time, wagering whether or not to pursue the conversation. It would take a millennium for me to explain to both her and myself why I can’t have a future with Skyla no matter what heartbreaking teasers Candace throws our way.

  “Logan”—she picks through her deck, rearranging her cards one at a time—“tell me about your love for Skyla. I’m sort of a romance junkie. I’ve spent years in paradise listening to true loves’ finest tales. I was sort of cut off before I ever got to experience it myself. Not that I’m lamenting the fact. I died thinking boys were more than icky.” She makes a face like she might vomit. “But the idea has grown on me, and I like the stories. I can listen to them over and over the way others listen to songs.”

  “My love story with Skyla.” I let out a full sigh. “That’s easy. I fell in love the moment I laid eyes on her—so did Gage by the way.” Technically, that’s not true. He fell in love with her in his dreams first. I guess you could say he had the advantage. We dated—Skyla and me.” A tiny laugh bumps through my chest. “I never dated Gage.”

  “Ha-ha.” She rolls her eyes. “Move it along.”

  “That’s it. Skyla had the Counts and the Fems trying to incapacitate her, and I knew they would stop at nothing to make sure we never got together. Our child—she would be—she is, I suppose, as close to pure as possible.”

  “Pure.” She sighs dreamily. “Angel is a lucky little girl. I’m sure the Decision Council has already carefully plotted out the very best destiny for her.”

  I think of Skyla and all her hardships. Of myself. Of Gage.

  “I’m not sure it would be the best. Anyhow, I had a lousy brainstorm one day and thought that perhaps Skyla should pretend to date Gage to throw off the Counts. I thought at least that way we could still be together once we were alone.”

  “No!” She tosses down her cards in horror. “You drove her right into his arms, didn’t you?”

  “Something like that.” A pang of embarrassment rips through me. Even innocent Casey can see it was a ridiculous idea. “Skyla and I never really got back on track. And then I died. Candace allowed me to live in a mini Treble, much like the one I’m in. I managed to snatch Skyla back for a bit.” I give a sly wink.

  Casey claps up a storm. “A happy ending of sorts. But wait—you were dead! That’s terrible.”

  “It wasn’t so bad. Skyla and I married and had a brief yet beautiful honeymoon. And just before I was called back to paradise, I charged Gage with taking care of and loving Skyla the way that I would have. And he’s done so ever since.” I land my cards on top of hers, declaring our paper war over.

  “And what about Gage?” She scoops the cards up with her fingers, slow to look at me. “Has he charged you with the same?”

  “Yes. Last year. But I won’t take him up on it. I’m fighting for their family to stay whole until they’re both old and ragged and the boys are old and ragged, too.” I’d wink, but I’m not being cheeky. This is my greatest wish. “But I’ll let you in on a little secret”—I lean in, and she does the same—“I’m still very much in love with Skyla.”

  Casey leans back, her gaze still set over mine with a look on her face that says she’s about to trump me, only we’re not playing cards anymore. “I’ve got a little secret myself.” A spurt of giggles escapes her. “I know you, Logan. I know you from paradise—the version that has run the race and completed his mission in life.” Her affect sharpens, and suddenly she seems far older than the innocent girl I’ve pegged her to be. “I’ll give you a little hint of your future with Skyla, but then I’m sending you back to Paragon. I’m getting tired.”

  I open my mouth to protest, but my vocal cords don’t dare give a sound.

  “Angel happens, Logan. You don’t get to keep her, but she comes back to you just the way she’s supposed to.” Her features contort in pain, and she looks as if she’s about to wail with tears. “Maybe.” She gives me a solid shove off the side of the bed, and I keep falling—all the way to Paragon.

  Skyla and I happen.

  Maybe.

  I don’t like the sound of it.

  Skyla and I are over.

  We’ve already happened.

  On Tuesday, I offer to take Angel for the night to give poor Skyla a break. I don’t dare visit Casey that night. In fact, I don’t dare dream, sleep, or wink a second too long. Instead, I watch my baby girl sleep, watch as her chest rises and falls, memorize the steady pattern of her breathing. But eventually, I succumb to what amounts to a short nap. In the morning, try as I might to beat Angel to the bright-eyed and bushy-tailed punch, I find her laughing and bouncing in one of the cribs I’ve set up in my bedroom. The original two were for the boys, but I went out and bought another so the collection grew to three once Angel arrived. They remind me of those old-fashioned circus cages you would see animals displayed in. But the only little animal around here is Angel, a jovial laughing baby koala that wants nothing more than to snuggle up with her dad—me.

  I make breakfast, feed her the organic fare Skyla left me with last night, and give her a bottle, which she quickly catches on how to use, and we find a comfy spot on the couch and lose the rest of the morning watching cartoons.

  This is the life. While Angel studies the screen, I study her. I’m mesmerized by her blonde curls that look as if they’re made of spun gold. I study how intently she focuses in on the television, laughing and clapping intermittently as the show commands it. Her eyes are a unique pale shade of turquoise with amber flecks—Skyla’s eyes married with mine. I see Skyla there in her face, in the way she lights up with her whole body when something makes her giddy with excitement. I hold out my hand, and she slaps me five over and over again while kicking the shit out of me with those precious chunky legs.

  “You’re a real princess, you know that?” I press a kiss to her cheek. “Just like your mom.”

  A knock comes from the door, and her whole body stretches in that direction. “Ma Ma!”

  “Let’s see.” I scoop her up and fly her like an airplane to the door. Only when we swing it open, it’s not Skyla we see. It’s Lex.

  “Hey, good-looking.” Lex gives my cheek a pinch as she makes her way past me. “You and the kid ready for your close-up?”

  “Ready and willing.” I’m not entirely thrilled with the way Lex didn’t even bother to say hello to Angel. I get it. She’s a baby, but she’s a person, my person. You’d think if Lex really wanted to cement herself in my life she’d at least make half the effort. Not that I’m looking for Lex to do any cementing. I’m just saying her strategy is off.

  “Okay.” Lex looks around with her fists planted on her hips. “Here.” She whips a white furry blanket off the couch—the exact white furry blanket she purchased when I gave her a blank check and told her to decorate the place—and lands it on the floor. “Take off your shirt and take off all of her clothes, too. We’ll do a few nudes of her on your chest before Skyla gets here.”

  “What? There’s no way I’m doing nudes with my daughter.”

  “Are you kidding?” She snorts while evicting her camera from its leather c
ase. “It’s all the rage. I promise it’ll be cute.”

  The doorbell rings just as my stomach acids hit a boiling point. Lex generally knows her stuff, and generally I trust her, but I’m pretty sure I’m drawing the line at nudes.

  Skyla bustles in with a bouncing baby boy in each arm, a bloated diaper bag dangling from her shoulder, and I put Angel down to help her.

  “Look at you go!” Skyla marvels, and I follow her gaze to find Angel halfway into the kitchen.

  “Geez.” I help Skyla put the boys on the floor before chasing Angel down. “She’s fast. I’ll give her that.”

  “Just like her mom,” Lex snarks and the tension in the room goes up a notch.

  “Good morning to you, too,” Skyla growls at her questionable friend. “I already have the boys in their outfits. It’ll just take me a second to dress the baby.” She bites down on a smile as she takes Angel from me. “Who’s a pretty little girl?” Skyla peppers Angel’s face with kisses, and she kicks and screams with delight.

  “That reminds me. I want to show you something.” I pull a small faded Polaroid from off the mantel. “It’s me about Angel’s age.” Before the fire. But I don’t like to talk about that.

  “Oh my goodness!” Skyla’s voice pitches to its upper register. “You are the cutest little thing! And look at that face! Angel is basically you in a dress.”

  “I always knew I’d look good in pink.”

  Skyla gives my ribs a quick pinch, and I buck.

  “You know”—she pulls the picture closer and recluses into herself a moment—“my mother didn’t change our destinies at this juncture. She waited until you were older. She could have done it when you were a baby, but she didn’t. Do you think there was something she was trying to salvage in that alternate reality?”

  “I don’t know. God knows I’ve thought about it. But I do know one thing that’s come from it. I appreciate life and living it to its full potential.” I can’t put into words the heartache, the anguish I remember, and, in turn, that makes me rabid to know others experience that level of heartbreak and loneliness. I guess that’s why I’m looking out for those taken to Raven’s Eye. It’s going to be hell for them, and I don’t want it to be.

  “Speaking of clothes”—Lex pipes up—“how about dropping trou, would you?” She licks her lips my way as if the invite was directed only at me, and I have no doubt it was.

  “Lex wanted to photograph us in the nude.” I wink over at Lex as she unloads her equipment onto the counter.

  “Correction”—Skyla scoffs at the thought—“Lex wanted to photograph you in the nude. I’m pretty sure she’d like the rest of us dressed—or better yet, off the premises.”

  “No, I’m serious.” Lex doesn’t bother looking up while switching out her lenses. “Nude really is all the rage. I’ve already done six family pictorials this last week, all in the buff.”

  “Six, huh?” Skyla makes a face while pulling a frilly pink dress over the top of Angel’s head, and the baby laughs and screams as if it was the funniest thing in the world. Barron rolls over and begins to gnaw on her chunky little leg, and it only makes Angel that much more hysterical. “So, how do these nudes work?”

  “That’s the hard part.” Lex comes over and begins shooting a few shots off as she adjusts her lens. “I usually place the kids over the parents’ privates. But I’ve done it all kinds of ways. The last one had dad on the bottom and mom on his back with each of their four kiddos piled on top of her.”

  “Sounds a little too organic.” I shake my head at Skyla in the event Lex is able to loosen a screw. It’s a hell no to that one. “I think we’ll stick to clothes.” I tug at the white dress shirt and jeans I donned just for the occasion, and Skyla gives an approving thumbs-up.

  “But I think we should lose the shoes and socks.” Skyla plucks the boys’ socks off so fast you’d think their feet were on fire.

  “What? I like my shoes.” I point a sneaker her way, and she frowns at it as if I’ve stepped in dog shit.

  “Shoes and socks off, Oliver.” Something about the way she just barked out that command sounds erotic, and unfortunately for me has my dick begging to take my boxers off, too. Fat chance, buddy. Hold off on the party.

  “How’s Casey?” Skyla leans in and lays her shoulder over my chest as Lexy barks out instructions.

  “I didn’t see her last night, but she’s been good. Spirits are high. She’s lonely, but I let her kick my butt in Old Maid at least once a night so that makes up for it a bit.”

  “Did she say anything that sounds off?”

  “No.” Both Skyla and I are paranoid they’re going to torment those poor people to death, and I suppose that is the point. “But as soon as anything changes, you’ll be hearing from me.”

  Her forehead creases with worry. “I don’t have a plan, Logan. I don’t have a clue as to what we’ll do to help.” Angel slaps her over the nose, and she blinks back. “I got it. We’ll storm the island. We can get the Retribution League and head over if things go sideways.”

  “And then what? Ellis offers them a fat blunt, and we all sit in a stoner circle while the dead trot back to paradise?”

  She knocks her elbow into me. “You don’t have to be so glib about it. I don’t know what happens after that. Maybe you get naked and Lex can chase you around while documenting the event with her camera.”

  “That has my vote.” Lex gives an enthusiastic thumbs-up.

  “I bet it does,” Skyla growls just under her breath. “Whatever it is, Holden is my first line of defense. He’s already chomping at the bit to get his brother back.” She winces. Pierce was taken last week, no thanks to Chloe. She was gunning to have Emerson incarcerated as well, but that almost backfired on her, and Chloe had to make a getaway herself. “I knew this would be tough for the family that had loved ones in the effort. Thankfully, there’s only a small handful. Not to mention Kate. Her mother has practically chained her in the basement. She’s terrified that outsiders will report her and terrified my mother will call her home on the spot. She’s been sending out group texts to Nat and me letting us know she’s bored out of her mind.” She glares at Lexy a moment.

  About two weeks ago, Lex took Kate to the mall, and they accidentally bumped into Kate’s mother. Apparently, it almost sent her into kingdom come, too. Suffice it to say, Kate had a lot of explaining to do. Lex thought she’d help out in that department since Kate is still reduced to whispers, and evidently Lex didn’t hold back on the details. Mrs. Winston, a human through and through, is now up on all things Faction and angelic. A frightening detail when you think about it. But she swore she’d keep everything to herself. She was so relieved to have her daughter back—albeit temporarily—that woman could be trusted with nuclear codes at this point.

  I smooth my hand over Skyla’s back. “Does a part of you regret bringing Kate back?”

  “No. She’s glad she’s here. I’m glad she’s here, and Nat is super happy to have her back, if only for a while.”

  “I’m in that number, Messenger,” Lex calls from behind the camera as she snaps away.

  Skyla gives my shoe a light tap with her foot. “I said take it off, Oliver.”

  A sly grin crawls up one side of my face because it sounded dirty, and my balls drink down the naughty implications even if there weren’t any.

  I do as I’m told, and Lex moves the five of us out onto the front lawn. Skyla sits next to me in the damp grass with Angel on her lap while I hold the boys, and my stomach starts to boil with a slight undercurrent of panic. Actually, when I mentioned to Skyla that Lex wanted to take a family picture of us with the baby I hadn’t really thought about including the boys—but, of course, we’re including the boys because they’re family—they’re Skyla’s children, and mine by proxy. But I’ve got a nagging feeling this is a very bad idea, and just as I’m about to hem and haw my way through a list of reasons that perhaps we should reconsider, a big black truck pulls into the driveway and Gage hops out.


  Perfect. And here’s reason number one through one hundred as to why this whole family pictorial just went to hell in a Lexy-shaped handbasket.

  Gage loses his grin in slow motion as he takes in the scene. “What’s going on?”

  Skyla closes her eyes a moment because I’m betting she’s just surmised this was perhaps a very shitty idea to begin with.

  I’m not Skyla’s husband. And it was never my intent to kick Gage to the curb—behind his back, no less. All I wanted was a picture of Angel, and this morphed into something it was never intended to be. Thank God Almighty we opted out of nudes.

  “We’re in the middle of family pictures, Gage,” Lex grouses. “Get out of the way. You’re in the shot!”

  Shit. I close my eyes and try to will us out of this uncomfortable situation.

  “Logan, look this way!” Lex sings. “Everybody say happy little family!”

  “Wow.” Gage gargles out a dark laugh as he sits on the porch. “Glad I didn’t miss the show.” His dimples dig in deep, and I can tell he’s eating up our discomfort, but the dude has got to be hurt.

  “Okay”—Lex flicks her finger at us—“go ahead and get naked, and we’ll stick a boy between each of your legs. Skyla, you’ve got small tits. Just pull your hair over your shoulders and set the girls up high. We’ll start there before we get to the dogpile.”

  “Oh no, we won’t.” Skyla hops up with Angel, and I do the same with Barron. “Gage Oliver, I am sorry.” She rolls her eyes. “I swear I thought this was just for the kids,” she pleads with all of the sorrow she can muster. “And, of course, Logan and Angel.” She bites down so hard on her bottom lip it grows bone white.

  “I know.” He gives her a quick peck on the lips. “I wanted to come with you, but I had to stop off at the morgue.”

  “Come on, Skyla.” Lex tries to lure her back to the lawn with a tip of the chin. “Just you and the kids.”

  “Sounds good.” I land Barron next to Nathan and head back over to Gage, where I plan to grovel for his forgiveness for the rest of my disputable life.