Flag Cake Felonies (MURDER IN THE MIX Book 23) Read online

  “Bizzy”—Evie nudges Pancake over toward Bizzy with her foot—“ask Pancake what he thinks about my dad and mom finally getting together.”

  Bizzy’s mouth opens as she looks my way. I bet she’s just as glad as I am that Noah isn’t around to hear this.

  Bizzy hitches a dark lock of hair behind her ear. “You heard the girl, Pancake. What do you think?”

  Both Pancake and Waffles have pale butter-colored fur with rust-tipped tails and a dusting of cinnamon over their noses. They’re a couple of Himalayan brothers that thankfully made their way into my life. I had Pancake first, then when my grandmother Nell died, she bequeathed Waffles to me and I couldn’t be happier to have him.

  Bizzy pulls Pancake into her lap and the handsome boy looks my way, then to Everett before letting out a rather clear meow.

  Bizzy inverts her lips. “He says he thinks he can speak for Waffles when he says they just want Lottie to be happy. But he will admit that one of Lottie’s suitors, and he won’t say which, makes sure he gives them a treat each time he visits.”

  Everett reaches into his pocket before tossing out a small sprig onto the floor and Pancake, Waffles, and Bizzy’s cat Fish all attack it at once.

  Everett offers a sly look my way. “Catnip.”

  The room breaks out into laughter and cheers.

  Carlotta stands and stretches and Georgie does, too. They’ve donned matching red kaftans with tiny round silver mirrors sewn into them that reflect the light like a seizure.

  “It’s been real, folks.” Carlotta pats her belly. “Thanks, Judge Baxter, for the extra five pounds. I’m sure you and my Lottie Dottie will find a creative way to work it off.”

  Evie sticks her finger down her throat and pretends to gag.

  I nod to Carlotta. “Where are you off to?” My suspicion is growing by the minute.

  “Gray and I are painting the town red tonight.”

  Jasper raises a brow. “Heading down to Main Street?”

  “We’re not sticking around Honey Hollow.” Georgie lifts a crooked finger. “We’re headed to the city that never sleeps.”

  Evie sits up straight. “New York?”

  “Close.” Carlotta scuffles across the room and grabs her purse. “Leeds.”

  Everett and I moan in unison, prompting Carlotta to belt out a laugh.

  “Have the decency to wait until the rest of us are gone, would ya?” Carlotta bops Evie on the shoulder. “If I were you, kid, I’d run for cover. These two lovebirds are liable to explode all over the room at any given moment.”

  “What? Eww.” Evie bolts for the door before looking at Everett and me. “My sleepover starts in a half an hour. I’ll text you tomorrow when the coast is clear.”

  Everett just so happens to live next door. A few years back when I was looking for a new rental, Noah had a couple of houses come available across the street from him, right here on Country Cottage Road, and I took one, and by chance, or by a deliciously diabolical plan, Everett took the other.

  “I can bring fresh donuts in the morning,” I offer.

  “Cool,” Evie says as she walks out the front door. “We should be up around twelve or two.” She waves to everyone in the room before disappearing.

  Jasper laughs. “Getting up at the crack of noon. Boy, do I miss being a teenager.”

  “Yeah?” Bizzy wraps an arm around him. “What should we do to relive a little of that teenage magic?”

  Jasper twitches his lips. “How about a walk around Honey Lake?”

  “Sounds good to me.” Bizzy scoops up Fish, and Sherlock follows them to the door as they say goodnight.

  Georgie gives Everett and me a wave. “Feel free to explode all over the room as often as you want.”

  Carlotta gasps as she looks my way. “Dear stars above Honey Hollow, this here could be the night the two of you create a wee one to call your own. In addition to Evie.”

  Georgie slaps her thigh. “Why, you’ve got a built-in babysitter. I say get right to it. There’s not a baby-making moment to waste.”

  Carlotta nods. “Judge Baxter, I know you’ve got the right stuff to replicate your DNA until you’re well into triple digits.” She leans in. “And I don’t doubt you’ll be able to launch that rocket right up until the end.”

  “Okay,” I say, navigating Carlotta to the door.

  She bats me to the side and spins his way. “But her lady parts are destined to shrivel up and disappear.”

  I scoff at her. “Gee, thanks.”

  Carlotta makes a face before looking back at Everett. “It’s true! She only has a small window of time to pop those puppies out. And if you wait too long, you might just get out-Foxed, if you know what I mean. Her ovaries are just as fickle as she is.”

  “Enough,” I say without the proper enthusiasm.

  Georgie grunts as she leans in to inspect me, “I say she’s got at least five good years. It’ll be iffy after that, but it might be possible. They have all sorts of injections they can juice you up with nowadays, and who knows? You might even hit the jackpot and have a litter of six or eight at a time.”

  “Eight?” Everett says it stern.

  “Yuppers.” Carlotta links her arm to Georgie’s. “And if you get an even dozen, you might even get yourselves a TV show. A Baxter dozen!”

  Georgie gasps. “How about a Baker’s dozen?”

  They exchange high-fives while Everett and I exchange a look.

  “Don’t worry,” I tell him. “We won’t accept those curses.”

  Carlotta turns as they waddle down the porch. “Are you calling me a witch?”

  “If the pointy hat fits,” I say, giving a quick glance around for Carlotta’s car, but I don’t see it in the immediate vicinity. “Hey? How are you getting to Leeds?”

  Carlotta waves as they hit the sidewalk. “We’ve got a couple of brooms parked around the corner.”

  “Funny.” I close the door and bite down over my lip as I look up at the outlandishly handsome judge by my side. “I would have told them to stay out of trouble, but I think that’s the point.”

  Everett’s lids hood low. He’s already taken off his suit jacket and rolled up his sleeves, so I pull him in by the tie.

  “Are you ready to spend a little time with your wife?” My teeth graze my lower lip when I say that last word, the most important word of all.

  “My wife,” he whispers, a dangerous smile twitching on his lips. “I do like the sound of that.” He cups my cheek, his thumb gently brushing against my lip. “Do you have a bathing suit handy?”

  “What?” A small laugh bubbles from me. “Not what I was expecting to hear you say next. But yes, in fact, I happen to have a brand new cherry red string bikini in my bedroom.”

  “Can’t wait to see it. Put it on. We have somewhere to go.”

  I don’t ask. I simply strip to nothing and come back wearing the skimpiest red bikini Honey Hollow has ever seen.

  “Now what, Judge Baxter?” I run my finger down his tie like a promise.

  Everett growls as his eyes sink low. “I’m this close to abandoning plan A and going with plan B.”

  “B for bedroom?”

  His lips curl in response.

  “Now I’m very curious what plan A could have been.”

  He winces. “All right. It’s still a go. But so is plan B.” He takes me by the hand and swings the front door open.

  “Are we going outside?” A mild sense of panic strikes me as the cool night air seeps on in. “Should I grab a towel? Or a coat?”

  “Nope.”

  “How about some flip-flops?”

  “You probably won’t need those either.”

  “No shoes? Why do I get the feeling things are about to get mighty interesting?”

  We’re about to step out the door when Toby zooms past us in a redheaded furry blur, leaping and barking his way to freedom right into the middle of the street. “Oh no!” I zoom right after him and scream his name as he makes a mad dash across the street.
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  Everett is on my heels, and no sooner does Toby land on Noah’s porch than he looks at the two of us and begins to sway as if he were wondering which direction to bolt in next.

  “Don’t you move, Toby Corbin Fox!” Okay, so I don’t really know if Toby has a middle name, but it felt right adopting the rest of Noah’s moniker to reprimand him.

  Toby darts to the front lawn, and I seize the moment by doing my best to dive-bomb over him. But the sneaky dog slinks away before I ever touch him and I land onto the cool blades of Noah’s lawn, just before Everett lands on me from behind.

  Thankfully, Everett has landed rather strategically as not to crush me.

  Before either of us can move, a truck pulls up and kills the headlights as the sound of footsteps quickens this way.

  “Lottie?” Noah’s voice spikes with worry. “Everett? What the hell is going on?”

  “Lemon.” Everett helps me up and I cringe as I watch Noah’s eyes widen with the slight look of horror as he takes in my bikini-clad body.

  “Were you trying to escape?” Noah takes a step in close, his eyes wild with surprise. “Lottie, were you running to me for help?”

  “What? No!” I glance down and note my top is more than slightly askew and I quickly fix it. “Good grief.” I glance over to the porch, only to find Toby innocently curled up and taking a nap. “Toby got out and took off, so I took off after him.”

  Noah ticks his head to the side. “And why are you wearing”—he motions at my bikini—“never mind. There are some things I don’t want to know.” He takes a moment to glower at Everett. “I’d say have a great night, but I don’t think you need me encouraging you.” He sighs my way. “Goodnight, Lottie. Everett,” he says, heading on into his home and taking Toby with him.

  Everett leads me across the street, over to his property as he navigates us into the backyard, and then I see it.

  “Everett!” I do a little hop and inadvertently send my body bouncing in all the wrong, or right places. And judging by the look on Everett’s face, they were definitely right. “When did you get a hot tub? And what’s to stop Evie and her friends from bum-rushing it at any moment?”

  “I told her it was ours for the night, and she didn’t protest.”

  He fires it up and the water goes from warm to boiling as the pearly white bubbles percolate like mad. I climb on in, sucking in a breath as I sink my body down into it.

  “Ooh, this feels like heaven.”

  “Don’t get too far ahead of me.” He pulls his tie loose.

  “Judge Baxter, you are wearing far too many clothes for my liking. Take them off, now. All of them. That is a direct order from your wife.”

  His lips twitch with wicked intent and he does just that.

  Everett and I enjoy that boiling cauldron to the fullest before traipsing back to my place and having a sleepover of our own.

  Confession: not a lot of sleeping takes place.

  What more could I expect?

  After all, I am Mrs. Essex Everett Baxter.

  Chapter 7

  Ciao in Hollyhock is located at the southern end of town in a great big stone building that looks as if it were plucked right out of Rome.

  Hollyhock is the town next door to Honey Hollow, and it just so happens to be where Noah and Alex grew up. Speaking of Noah’s look-alike brother, both he and Macy are here tonight—right along with Bizzy, Jasper, Georgie, Carlotta, Noah, Everett, and me.

  Everett and I invited Evie to join us for our fancy feast, but she opted to stay at my place with the menagerie and watch movies with her friends. Here’s hoping she’s not secretly plotting a raging party like she did a few weeks back. I suppose time and perhaps the Ashford Sheriff’s Department will tell.

  We enter Ciao’s heavily carved doors and the scent of marinara sauce and garlic enlivens our senses. Back in Honey Hollow, Noah, Everett, and I love to frequent an Italian restaurant called Mangias several times a week. Considering it’s conveniently located right across the street from my bakery, it’s hard not to be lulled in by the heady scent of fresh baked pizza. But Mangias is a casual place you can go to after a long day’s work in just a T-shirt and jeans if need be.

  Not Ciao. This is a dress to the nines establishment that requires a suit and tie for the men and cocktail attire for women. Carlotta and Georgie spent the afternoon gluing rhinestones onto a couple of matching black kaftans and, I must admit, their rainbow-hued accouterments look rather inspiring—if you’re a unicorn looking to have a hot night on the town.

  I jest.

  They look adorably dolled up for a fun night out. Apparently, their night in Leeds landed them in hot water with the security guards at some male strip joint, and from what I hear, the entire town has banished them from ever returning. I thought I’d take that moment to inform them that getting booted out of tonight’s venue could very well get them both booted out of the great state of Vermont. For that reason alone, I expect them on their best behavior.

  Bizzy’s sister Macy looks dressed to kill in a backless red frock and shockingly high heels. Her blonde hair is freshly blown out and her bowtie red lips add to her vampy appeal.

  Alex, Jasper, Everett, and Noah are collectively turning heads of the female variety. I’ve seen more than one woman’s jaw drop to the floor at the sight of these dangerously sexy men.

  Both Bizzy and I trotted down to the Scarlet Sage Boutique this afternoon and splurged on a couple of fancy gowns. Bizzy picked up an off-the-shoulder lavender number that clings to her body like nobody’s bizzyness. With her dark hair and pale blue eyes, she’s a stunner all around.

  And me, well, I went for the gold, literally. As soon as I saw this gown, I knew it was the one, with its plunging neckline and curve-clinging definition. I’ve never seen a dress transform my body into a figure eight racetrack like this before, and judging by the reactions I got from both Noah and Everett, I made the right decision.

  “Lemon.” Everett’s lids are heavily hooded, and from what I can see of his eyes, they look dangerously glossed over with lust. Everett looks like an addict desperate for just one more hit of his favorite drug, and lucky for me, I just so happen to be it.

  Noah steps up in his dark suit with a forest green tie that matches his eyes. “I’ll say it again. You’re beautiful, Lottie Lemon.”

  “Well, I’ll say it again. Thank you,” I tease. “I mean it. You’ve both been far too kind to me tonight.”

  A waitress with long dark hair and high-cut cheekbones strides by as her eyes hook onto Everett.

  “Oh my God,” she gasps. “Can I have dinner with you?” She blinks back, surprised. “I mean, can I help you?”

  A tiny laugh bubbles in my chest.

  I can’t blame the poor girl. Everett looks dangerously comely tonight. I have no idea what he did to turn the volume up to inhumane levels. I mean, he’s wearing a dark inky suit, one of which he wears every single day down at the courthouse, his black tie is discreet, his jet-black hair is slicked back, his cobalt eyes siren out like warning beacons just the way they do on an average day, but make no mistake about it, there is nothing average about Essex Everett Baxter.

  Fun fact: he goes by his middle name, Everett. Only women he’s done the dirty deed with have the right to call him by his proper moniker—with the exception of his mother and sister. Nobody tells a Baxter woman what to do, not even Everett himself. Anyhow, even though I’ve garnered the right to call him by his sexy name, I still choose to call him Everett. It’s what I called him before we hit the mattress so to speak and old habits die hard.

  Another tall, dark-haired woman struts by in a black and white waitress uniform and stalls before him.

  “Essex?” Her hot pink lips fall open.

  “Jackie Leoni?” Everett’s brows hike a notch.

  Before he can utter another word, the girl hops onto him as if he were a life raft leaving the Titanic.

  “Essex!”

  Carlotta nudges me in the ribs. “She just said the cod
e word! That girl did the mattress mambo with your man.”

  I frown over at the squealing banshee that Everett is having a hard time plucking off his person.

  I look to Carlotta and shrug it off.

  “So has half of Vermont. The female half.” I glance to Bizzy. “Everett really got around before he met me. The women he’s been with sort of use his first name, Essex, like a calling card.”

  Georgie shakes her head as she sizes him up. “How I wish I met him before he met you. I’d love to call his card all night long.”

  Macy grunts, “You and me both, sister.”

  Carlotta titters, “Hear that, Lot Lot? You’ve practically won the lott-ery.”

  Noah clears his throat, and Alex belts out a laugh before socking his brother playfully on the arm.

  “It was worth the price of admission just to see your ego kicked down a notch, buddy.” Alex winks over at him.

  “Noah doesn’t have an ego.” I wink over at the dimpled detective myself.

  He offers a depleted smile. “Thanks, Lot.”

  Bizzy gasps. “Lottie”—she whispers as she leans in—“Jackie Leoni looks an awful lot like Jackie Hart.”

  “What?” I hiss without meaning to.

  “Fancy meeting you here,” Everett says as he lands his friend Jackie back to an upright position and I get a clear shot of her face and those hot pink streaks in her hair.

  Son of a gun. It is her. And good thing, considering she’s just the woman we were hoping to see.

  Bingo!

  No sooner do I think it than that beautiful beast pops into our midst.

  “Italian food,” she snorts out that last word. “I’ve been dying to try it. Get it?” She chortles my way. “Dying?” She lumbers off into the dining room with a spring to her step.

  Jackie giggles at Everett like a lust-riddled schoolgirl. “My uncle owns this place. I’ve been working here since I was a kid. But this isn’t my only gig. I’m a waitress by night and a hot-to-trot author even later in the night.” She’s right back to giggling. “I write under the penname Jackie Hart—stories with Hart. In fact, I’ve got a little secret to tell you. My novel, In the Judge’s Chamber, is strictly about the encounters I had with you know who. I hope you don’t mind that I’ve given a detailed account of your best-kept secrets.”