Beautiful Illusions Read online

  Zoey shifts her gaze from Em to me.

  “What is this? The inquisition? I’m majoring in none-of-your-damn-business, so get your things, and get on your little merry way.” She stabs her spoon into her cereal so hard milk laps over the side.

  “Zoey!” I’m ready to boot her out on her ear if she keeps this up.

  Emmy vacuums the air from the room with her next breath as she rises from the table. “I think I’d better go.” She stalks down the hall, and I pin her to the wall with a kiss.

  “Don’t you dare think of going anywhere.” I tether her wrists with one hand and pull them over her head. Emmy gives a slight, curt smile that says keep trying big boy, so I brush my lips over the divot in her neck until she moans.

  “Right there,” she whispers, so I do it again.

  “I was sort of hoping you’d say those words to me last night.” I make love to her neck for a sweet, brief moment. “The only difference is my mouth would have been in another location entirely.”

  Emmy growls in lieu of a laugh, and I can’t help but smile.

  “Zoey has been out of control ever since my parents died. Trust me, she’s like this to everyone. And with you—she’s probably just hitting her stride.” I hate to admit it, but Zoey likes to think she’s the number one girl in my life, and up until I met Emmy she was.

  Em’s dimples invert as she makes a sour face. She’s taking me down, reducing me to a puddle without even trying.

  “How about you and me get dressed.” I take a bite out of her, soft-as-a-petal, earlobe. “I can take you out for a drive in a little bit.”

  “Can Zoey come, too?” She bats her lashes quick as moth wings. “We can push the truck off the cliff. I promise I won’t tell anyone.”

  Emmy has a way of tickling my gut with her dry sense of humor. At least I think she’s kidding.

  “Nah, let her stay here and stew.”

  “Sounds like a great idea. That might give her the time she needs to find the hatchet she’s going to bury in my skull.”

  “I promise that will never happen. Well”—I rake a kiss over her cheek—“maybe in a proverbial way.”

  “I’ve met girls like Zoey before. She’s fully capable of inserting a blade.”

  “In that case, I’ll bury all the hatchets.”

  “Ha ha.” She flicks my chin. “I see what you did there.”

  Emmy heads for the shower, and I make a beeline to drill a new one into my sister.

  “What the fuck’s the matter with you?” I turn the chair around and sit on it backward.

  “Wow”—she mumbles through a mouth full of cereal—“you kiss all your whores with that mouth? On second thought, that probably gets them going.”

  I reach over and snatch her wrist, resisting the urge to squeeze the shit out of it. Zoey has my mother’s eyes—a deep marine. Every time I look at my sister, I see her. It’s like staring a ghost in the face, bittersweet. Her attitude, however, comes straight from Satan. For the life of me, I can’t figure out what I did wrong.

  “That person you were so very rude to just so happens to be the girl I’m going to marry. She makes me feel alive and is the only person who’s ever managed to pull me out of this coma I’ve been living in for the last few years, so I’d appreciate if you could show her an ounce of kindness.”

  She gently slips her wrist from my grasp.

  “No shit? You think you’re going to marry that chick?” She glances back at the empty hall. “So exactly how long have you known Mrs. Right?”

  “Six weeks.” I regret it as soon as the words leave my lips.

  “A whole six weeks?” Her brows rise in amusement. Her hair is cut to her shoulders and for some reason this makes her look older than her almost twenty years. “I’m shocked you haven’t tied the knot by now. How do you know this person isn’t after your money?”

  “Because I don’t have any.” I know she’s talking about the cabin, the business. Zoey has always thought more of me than she ever should. “All right. I get it. Look, don’t give me a hard time. I’m in a good place.”

  “Okay.” Her lips crimp to the side. “I just want you to be happy. Nobody wants that for you more than I do.”

  “And I want the same for you.” I tousle her hair like I used to. Zoey hated having me mess up her hair. You’d think I was plucking her fingers off one by one the way she would shriek. “You’re going to love Emmy. She’ll be the big sister you’ve always wanted. You’ll see.”

  Zoey slumps in her seat. “Let the record show, I have a bad feeling about this.” Her lips invert into a frown. Her eyes reduce to jealous slits. “If this ‘Emmy’ person is up to no good, she’ll have to answer to me first. Nobody messes with my big bro.”

  “She’s not messing with me.” And every last ounce of me wishes she were. “Give her a chance, Zoe. She’s the perfect girl for me. There’s no one else, and there’s not a thing you can do to stop it.”

  “We’ll see.” She drops her spoon and sulks like an abandoned ten-year-old.

  I pull her up from her seat and wrap my arms around her childlike frame. “I’ll always be here for you, Zoey. I’ll never walk away from you.” I know the exact words she needs to hear because I’ve needed to hear them, too. “There’s room in my heart for one more person, and I’m hoping the same is true for you.”

  “Everything is changing.” She holds on tight like I’m about to get sucked out the window.

  “Sometimes that’s a good thing.”

  It’s about time things changed around here.

  Emmy has changed them all for the better.

  4

  Rumor Has It

  Demi

  Zoey. She’s been here nine solid days, but who’s counting? Last time I checked ski week was a measly six sleeps, but I don’t dare inquire of the obvious. I know for a fact she goes to Port University, so I pull it up on Gavin’s laptop while she makes a ruckus with the pots and pans, pretending to cook. You’d think a steel-drum band was marching through the kitchen. This is usually the part where she announces we should head to the Corner Store for a sandwich. Granted, Neva can whip up a mean roast beef, I hate the thought of Gavin spending all that money on us night after night. I’d make dinner, but I have a habit of burning it before I even manage to pull it out of the package. The kitchen and I have never been friends. And, unlike Neva, I can’t even put a decent sandwich together.

  The webpage blinks to life in tones of garish orange and greens. Welcome to Port University, home of the Fighting Walrus! Wishing all our students good luck this week. The gerund gets under my skin like an army of fire ants. And good luck on what? Expensive universities like Port should consider their grammar before they massacre the English language on their homepage. Reminder: Library study hours have been expanded for midterms!

  Midterms? I glance up at Zoey who’s bopping around with a spatula like she’s about to breakout in song.

  “Aren’t you missing exams?”

  She zooms over and looks at the screen before I have a chance to shut it.

  “Just shit, Emmy.” She snatches the laptop from the table, uprooting the evidence against her. “Are you fucking spying on me?”

  We enter into a brief standoff, and, before I can answer, a hard knock erupts over the door. I spring up to see who’s abusing it on the other side. I’d rather plunge every kitchen knife in the cabin into my skull than spend another minute cooped up with Zoey. Gavin went on a wood run with Ace, who happens to be up just for the weekend because for one, he’s still enrolled in school. Anyone can see Zoey has been booted out on her size zero ass. I can’t imagine why anyone wouldn’t want to keep someone with Zoey’s sparkling personality around.

  More pounding.

  “I’m coming.” I swing open the door, and a tall, almost handsome fellow stands on the other side. He’s slightly slumped over himself, dressed like the preppy of the year and his hair has enough shellac in it for me to see my reflection. His eyes drop straight to my boobs, and I�
��m quick to cinch my cardigan. A second glance at my boobs is a luxury I’m not providing him. Gavin drove me to the nearest Salvation Army, and I was able to buy some clothes. Of course he wanted to take me down the mountain to the mall of all places, but I refused. For one, I would never let Gavin buy me overpriced T-shirts and jeans, and, two, I’m still a little paranoid about Nora and her army of money-hungry spies. She knows I’m out there somewhere, waiting, sharpening my claws, fashioning my heart into the most dangerous weapon of all. “Can I help you?”

  “Warren!” Zoey skips over and wraps her arms around the perverted goof.

  “Neva said you were back. I thought I’d check it out for myself.” he says while cupping her rear instead of a hug. Interesting. I’ll have to ask Gavin if that’s an acceptable greeting in Loveless. “So you’re out of Port, huh?”

  Her finger flies to her lips in a lame attempt to shush him.

  “Relax, I’ve already pieced it together. I’m not saying a word to Gavin.” I will hint. A lot. Besides, Gavin is a smart guy—like Mensa smart. I’m sure he has his suspicions. Although, when you love someone, you want to think the best of them even if it does blind you to the truth. Blind love. That must be what my father experienced with Nora. Every other theory defies logic.

  “Want to head to the store? Neva’s a real bitch if I don’t check in.”

  Wow, this one is a keeper.

  “Corner Store?” I snap my purse off the counter. “I was just headed there myself.”

  I trail them as we walk over. Gavin’s cabin is about a stone’s throw from the coffee shop, so it takes all of two minutes. I watch Warren, the boob monger, like a hawk. I’m not liking the way his hand has found a home over Zoey’s bottom or the way she’s giggling like a twelve-year-old at every little cloud of bullshit that plumes from his mouth.

  We head into the store, and the heated air presses over me like a hug.

  I spot Kennedy sitting alone in the back, and wave over at her, leaving cotton candy-haired Neva to tear into Warren while Zoey watches. If Neva is smart, she’ll kick them both out.

  “What’s up?” Kennedy shuts her laptop and pats the spot next to her, so I take a seat.

  “Zoey’s friend stopped by.” I say friend with air quotes. “He’s all hands and eyes if you know what I mean, so I followed them over.”

  “Warren?” She makes a face. “I know exactly what you mean. He was engaged to Reese for a while. It ended in disaster. The police were involved. I wouldn’t bring it up.”

  “Reese? I guess everyone is allowed a misstep or two.” Or twenty if you’re me, but I’m with Gavin now, and my life before Loveless seems like a long-forgotten dream—nightmare to be exact. “What’s with the police? I bet she took him downtown for groping.” Reese is smart like that, unlike Zoey who seems happy to let him fondle her barely-there assets.

  “She wishes it were that simple. He attacked her one night in her bedroom.” She wafts her hand through the air as if brushing the thought away. “Thankfully, Ace rushed in and pulled him off.”

  “That’s terrible.” Just the thought of anyone forcing themselves on someone sets my blood to boil. Josh runs through my mind with his permanent lewd grin. He was forcing himself on me, and I was too stupid to realize it. There was no love between us. Heck, there were no conversations between us. It was so mixed up and twisted. I don’t know how to classify it other than wrong.

  “Anyway,” she continues, “Warren is an infamous asshole. Neva has already dumped his ass twice.”

  “And how about you? Have you done any dumping lately?” Kennedy is what Reeva would classify as a level six beauty. Reeva claims that girls like that are ripe for sultans and hysterically wealthy business men who are willing to part with six figures for a weekend of fornicating fun. It’s happened once or twice. The girls always return glassy-eyed and cool as if they were suddenly moved to the popular kids table and could have nothing to do with the rest of us plebeians.

  “I’ve seen a few people at school.” Kennedy absentmindedly braids her hair before combing her fingers through it again. “Most of the guys are immature dorks. I’m sort of treading the single life for the first time and it s-u-c-k-s. I did my own dumping last fall when I got rid of some dead weight that I’ve been attached to on and off forever. I’m not sure why I seem to gravitate towards cheaters. There’s no worse feeling in the world than having someone you care about sleep around on you.”

  My heart sinks because I’ve been the other woman more times than I can count. I didn’t care if the guys I was with had girlfriends, or hell, wives for that matter. I was dead on the inside, and they were just as dead to me. Just two corpses passing in the night. A bleak smile comes and goes on my lips.

  “That would suck,” I say. “Just the thought of Gavin being with anyone else would kill me.”

  “Speaking of Gavin”—she leans in with a devilish grin brewing—“have you rounded out the bases yet, or are you still stuck playing tonsil hockey with that boy?”

  “I don’t know what boy you’re talking about. Gavin is all man.” I wrinkle my nose. “Not that I’m fully aware. Zoey came back at the exact moment we tried hitting a homerun. I’ve been benched ever since. Believe me, the temptation to crawl into his bed hits me nightly, but he promised he’d do something about her. Gavin said if she’s not gone by Monday, he’s shipping her to the boathouse himself.”

  Her face lights up. “I guess Monday is your lucky night.”

  “I guess it is.”

  “Ladies.” A deep baritone voice rumbles from above. I rise to meet Gavin and that grin he always has waiting for me. “What’s Monday?”

  Kennedy scoops up her drink and laptop. “It’s national buy-your-girlfriend-flowers day.” She gives me a quick wink before speeding for the door. “I’ll catch you two later. Please do things I wouldn’t—and report back to me. It makes life that much more interesting. Make it dirty!”

  “Dirty?” Gavin mouths as I spin into him. His cheeks—his eyes—they smile without his lips. It’s a neat trick that only Gavin seems able to pull off.

  “Do you realize that you’re fiercely attractive when you’re amused?” I sneak a kiss off his ultra soft mouth. “Anyway, Kennedy is treading the single life, and, in her words, it s-u-c-k-s. But I think all she really needs is to get l-a-i-d,” I whisper without taking my eyes off my perfect, gorgeous boyfriend.

  “She’ll have to find someone else to oblige her.” Gavin sinks a hot kiss on my lips, and my sweet spot heats in rhythm. “I’m taken.”

  “And how about me? Do I need to find someone else to oblige me?” I let all the affect drain from my face as I say it. Not that I would ever consider finding anyone else to oblige me, but I’m eating up the momentary displeasure on his face.

  “You’d better not. My heart couldn’t take it.” Gavin pulls my hand up and lays it flat over his chest. “Feel that?”

  His chest thumps beneath me, and I close my eyes, letting the sensation ripple through my limbs, my throat, right through to my ears. I want to feel exactly this with nothing, no clothes, no people filling in the space between us. It’s going to be magic with Gavin.

  “You make my heart beat, Emmy.” He pulls another slow kiss off my lips, and my chest swells as if I’m ready to burst. “It only beats for you, Em—no one else.”

  I lean up on my tiptoes and press my lips directly into his ear. “I’m going to make it race, come Monday night. I don’t need flowers, Gavin. I only need you.”

  “Fuck,” he whispers so low I can barely make it out.

  “Is that what you’re going to do to me?” I hold back a laugh, daring him to deny it. “I’m kind of liking the dirty talk.”

  “Oh, babe”—he sniffs a quiet laugh—“I’m going to do exactly that and so much more.” His lips meet mine with a passion I’ve never seen in him. Gavin and I are working ourselves into a frenzy that’s going to explode the top off this mountain in a few short days. We did it. We took things slow, and now we’re at
the finish line about to receive our rewards. Zoey could shack up with the boob man at the counter for all I care. I just need her out of my hair for one night.

  Gavin pulls back and looks at me with that glazed look in his eyes, and I wonder how we’ll ever hold out until Monday.

  “Emmy”—he expires my name in a heated hiss, and my stomach clenches because it’s not the right name—“I know we’re coming into this with a pretty clouded history, but I promise, you’re going to be my first in a lot of ways. I hope you’ll feel that way, too. I’m going to make love to you, Em—slow and easy, fast and hard, and everything in between.” He trails a line of fiery kisses to my ear. “I have never felt this way before. I’m so in love with you, I can’t see straight. I want to taste you. I want to bury myself deep inside of your body and never leave.” His breathing picks up to meet with mine. “Not a second goes by that you’re not in my thoughts. That’s how much I love you.”

  A beat of silence stops up the air as he waits for me to say it back. It’s right there on my lips. I go to give it, and nothing but air comes out.

  The last person I loved I killed. I can’t stand the thought of hurting Gavin like that.

  “It’s going to be special.” I press my cheek to his and pray the tears go away before I open my eyes.

  “It will be,” he assures. “You plus me equals forever.”

  Gavin always knows the right thing to say.

  Sunday rolls by with a rainstorm that sends chocolate rivers rushing down the streets, but Monday shows up with sunshine and a smile on her face and it feels as if the entire universe is in on our big secret.

  Gavin and I helped Zoey make three trips to the boathouse today. I can’t seem to wipe the grin from my face. It’s the first genuine smile I’ve bled since she’s been here. Zoey has been nothing but piss and vinegar ever since Gavin broke the news this morning that she’d be moving.

  “I’ll be all alone.” She whines as we head back to the cabin. “And freezing! I bet my corpse will be frozen a week before you bother to check on me. What if a madman breaks in and grinds me up like hamburger?”