Key Lime Pie Perjury: Cozy Mystery (MURDER IN THE MIX Book 34) Read online

  “Go on, Brit.” I nod her way.

  She shrugs. “Well, I ate a little of the pie—and no offense, Lottie, but I started to feel worse. Then I saw you.” She points her way. “And I was going to ask you to help me outside, and that’s when I blacked out.”

  Everett blows out a breath. “What are you thinking, Noah?”

  “Subcutaneous injection just above the elbow,” I say as I write the very same words and send them to the coroner and my friends at forensics in a quick text. “Doctor says potassium—so I’m guessing potassium chloride was the murder weapon.”

  “Murder?” Britney presses against her pillows. “Noah, you think Duncan was killed intentionally?”

  “Yes. And for whatever reason, the killer went after you, too.”

  Her cheeks flush with color. “Wow, I have no idea why anyone would want to see me dead.” She looks to Lottie. “It wasn’t you, was it?”

  “No.” Lottie offers a mournful smile. “But whoever did this, killed Duncan first. Britney, you were dating him. What was going on in his life at the time? Did he have enemies? Did he enrage anyone as of late?”

  Brit blinks back. “Actually, I was at his shop a few days ago, and Henrick Dayton stormed in. He said, ‘How dare you’ and ‘You will never succeed,’ and then he took off in haste.”

  I make a quick note of it.

  Britney takes a breath. “Lorelei was there. She did a little work for him. Then there was Karen.” She rolls her eyes. “Outside of the night of the murder, she had been a bit cold to me. I must have misinterpreted that, because the night of the regency ball she was back to her usual self.”

  “Cold,” I say as I jot Karen’s name down.

  “And then there was Enya.” Britney shakes her head. “It was nothing really, but earlier in the night, Enya came over to Duncan and me and she seemed agitated. She said the words last chance and gave him a stern look. I thought she meant last chance to dance, but I may have misread that.”

  Everett looks to Lottie. “Well, Lemon, I think she just rounded out a nice suspect list for you.”

  It’s like a punch in the gut to hear him cheer her on like that. The last thing I want is Lottie running after a killer. But then, Everett knows she would have gone there anyway.

  We thank Britney for sharing what she did, and I let her know I’ll be checking up on her as we take off.

  Everett, Lottie, and I head through the lobby, to the parking lot, talking about dinner plans with a man named Rooster Puddin’ of all things, and just as we’re debating whether or not we should bring Lyla Nell, something in the parking lot stops me cold.

  “Noah?” Lottie steps in. “What is it?” She cranes her neck, but she doesn’t see it until I point it out.

  Both of my back tires have been slashed as the truck rests on its rims.

  “Two flats mean you don’t get to use the spare.” Everett shakes his head as Lottie steps away to call a tow truck for me. “He’s sending you a message, Noah.”

  I nod. “I can’t ignore him anymore.”

  Time is running out.

  There might be a killer running loose, but if I don’t do something with that briefcase soon, I may not be around to catch them.

  Everett

  When given a choice between Mangias and Wicked Wok, Rooster opted for the latter.

  My guess is that he identified with the word wicked. That, along with the fact Charlie slapped his chest until he coughed up the name of this place. Charlie was unceremoniously fired from Mangias, so that might have played into it.

  I, for one, am glad we didn’t venture that way. The day I was mentally set to get the ball rolling and wash a briefcase full of dirty money for Luke Lazzari, or at least start the arduous process, Sergio Sorrentino happened to be standing outside of Mangias. Not a surprise since he’s part owner.

  I was going to cut a deal with him regarding that briefcase. Heck, I started the conversation with him but wisely took a U-turn once Sergio began to see what I was hinting at. As soon as I saw a glimmer of disappointment in his eyes, followed by terror, then an odd escalation of excitement—most likely at the thought of easy money—I knew this wasn’t for me.

  The evening air is warm with a hint of dust polluting it and the scent of honeysuckle buried just beneath that.

  The construction on Main Street has ceased for the evening and some of the businesses have resumed normal operations for the night, Lemon’s bakery withstanding since it’s typically closed at this hour regardless. But it’s nice to see that the people of Honey Hollow have driven back down here to traverse plowed sidewalks in order to patronize the shops and restaurants that badly need the cash infusion. So I guess at the end of the day we’re doing our part, too.

  Cormack gloms onto Noah just as we’re about to step into the place. Yes, she showed up, although I’m not quite certain if it was because of Noah or because Charlie invited her.

  Charlie smacks Cormack on the arm until she retreats from her stronghold on Noah.

  “I told you I just need him for one night,” Charlie hisses it low so that Rooster doesn’t hear. Not that he could. He’s up ahead a good ten feet holding hands with Carlotta and chatting with Mayor Nash.

  Charlie stretches a deranged smile over at Noah. “You’re gonna be my boyfriend for the evening whether you like it or not, Chief. And you”—she snips in Cormack’s direction—“you’re gonna be on your best behavior.”

  Cormack glares at the woman a moment and stomps on ahead without saying a word.

  Lemon giggles to herself as I cinch my arm around her waist a little bit tighter.

  She shakes her head up at Noah. “I hope you’re wearing a bulletproof vest. This isn’t going to end well.” She checks her phone. “Speaking of ending well… it looks like my mother is just putting Lyla Nell down for a nap. And, oh look! Pretty Boy is right there next to the baby. Oh wow, he is so precious. We should really think about getting a dog.”

  Evie snorts from behind. “Because two cats, two men, a screamer, and Carlotta aren’t enough, Mom?”

  Lemon shoots her a look. “I take it you’re not the screamer?”

  “Ha-ha,” Evie says as Mayor Nash holds the door open to the establishment for the entire lot of us.

  I drove the majority of us down here in my truck. It took an hour to get the tow truck to pick up Noah’s car from the lot at the hospital, but we caught the tire shop before they closed for the day and they said Noah could pick it up tonight if he wanted, so I let him know I’d drop him off on the way home.

  Noah got the message loud and clear from Jimmy Canelli.

  Jimmy is losing his patience, and so am I because I still don’t know what’s floating around in the briefcase of his. I sure as hell know what’s in mine. Enough cash to land me behind bars for real this time. No insomnia defense could cure that disease.

  Once we step inside of Wicked Wok, the scent of garlic and teriyaki hits us hard.

  “Oh, heaven help me, I want to order the entire menu.” Lemon lets out a guttural groan, and a smile tugs at my lips when she does it. That’s an automatic response on my part.

  A waitress leads us to the right, where they’ve recently added on a larger seating area, ritzier than the café they have situated in front of the registers. The wallpaper is red and black, and in keeping with the theme so are the chairs. A paper dragon is strung across the length of the room, with the foil flames shooting out of his mouth pointed right over our table—a harbinger of things to come, I’m sure.

  We’re seated with Evie on one side of me and Lemon on the other. Noah is ensconced between Lemon and Charlie, and it’s a mind game every time I look in that direction. The lighting is dim, so their hair looks about the same shade. The only real way to tell them apart is that devious look in Charlie’s eyes. Same one I’ve seen in Carlotta’s more often than not.

  And right about now, Charlie looks extra devious as she scoots in close to Noah, pawing at his tie and giving his bicep a squeeze.

  C
ormack glares at Charlie before she turns to Rooster.

  “So, Mr. Tuttle”—Cormack forces a smile—“how long can we expect your good company in town?”

  Rooster winks her way right off the bat, and I shake my head. If this man were in my courtroom, I would consider him nothing more than a bad actor playing the part of a stock villain.

  “Honey, I’m at the age where it’s time to put down roots,” he tells her.

  “Wonderful,” Mayor Nash grunts, and I can tell he’s had about enough of him. “Carlotta tells me you’re staying at the B&B?”

  “Darn right.” Rooster sheds a cheesy grin his way. “Mirandy and Wiley is good people. Welcomed me with open arms. You too, Corky.” He nods to Cormack. “I ’preciate the hospitality. And don’t you worry, I’m gonna pull my weight, just like I said I would.”

  “Corky?” Lemon muses as she hikes a brow in Cormack’s direction. Cormack has called Lemon everything under the sun that starts with the letter L but her proper name. It’s about time Cormack had a taste of her own medicine.

  Rooster jerks in his seat. “Did I get it wrong? Was it Quirky?”

  “It’s Quirky, all right,” Lemon assures him.

  He looks over at Charlie, and his moustache twitches. “You’re looking mighty fine there, Charlie girl. Anytime you want to paint the town red, just know I’m ready and willing. We’ll put the good time in Good Time Charlie, the way we did back in Higgins Bottom.”

  Charlie glowers at him. “I don’t have time to paint anything red with your blood, Rooster. I’ve got me a new life here in Honey Hollow.”

  Lemon takes a quick breath. “Who said anything about blood?” she whispers my way.

  “See this hunk a burnin’ love?” Charlie yanks Noah in by the tie. “I don’t need you anymore, Rooster. Once I had a bite out of Detective Noah Fox, I knew there would be no going back. The things this man knows how to do to me are perfectly illegal. He’s got a weapon of delicious destruction and he knows how to use it—with great force and often, might I add.” She gives Noah’s cheeks a squeeze until his lips purse like a puffer fish.

  Rooster shoots Noah a lethal look and so does Cormack. Lazzari’s target on his father’s back isn’t the only one he has to worry about. It looks as if Noah might have a few hits of his own in the works. He always did like to follow my lead.

  A waitress comes by, and everyone at the table agrees we should order just about everything under the sun, family style, and I do just that.

  Noah gives Rooster a stern look once the waitress takes off. “What exactly are you doing to pull your weight at the B&B?”

  Rooster taps his chest. “You’re looking at the official groundskeeper of the Rendezvous Luxury Resort and Razzle Dazzle Day Spa.”

  “Groundskeeper?” Noah shakes his head. “I’m pretty sure that’s my father’s job.”

  “Wiley’s your father?” Rooster’s eyes bug out in amusement. “Oh, Wiley and I get along famously. We’re two peas in a pod. He offered me the assistant’s position. Forgive me for blowing things out of proportion. I’m just holding the dumb end of the stick when it comes to tending to the garden and whatnot. That man is one hundred percent pure genius.”

  Lemon and I exchange a glance.

  “Two peas in a pod?” she whispers. “Carlotta and Charlie are right. Rooster’s gotta go. This town isn’t big enough for another version of Wiley Fox. I’d put a hit on Wiley, but he’s Lyla Nell’s grandfather.” She frowns before giving a slight wink. Although I’m not sure she’s kidding.

  “Pfft,” Charlie huffs. “Rooster, you and Wiley Fox are cut from the same cloth. I know everyone else here is thinking it, so I’ll go ahead and say it. When you leave town, please take that troublemaker with you. I won’t miss him, and neither will Noah.” She looks up at Noah and that elastic smile springs back on her face. Charlie rumples his hair with her finger before landing a lingering kiss to his cheek. “Noah Fox, you are sleeping in my bedroom tonight to protect me from those monsters roving the halls over at the B&B.”

  Rooster belts out a laugh. “You mean those ghosts?” he says ghosts with air quotes. “Honey, that ain’t nothing but Wiley stomping around the attic. He told me so himself.”

  Lemon gasps. “That’s not true. Wiley Fox is nothing but a liar. That B&B is loaded with its fair share of poltergeists, and I bet they don’t really care for the fact you’re there.”

  “Ooh hoo-hoo.” Rooster chuckles. “Look at Sugar trying to get sassy.” He flexes his cheek my way. “You got a feisty one on your hands, don’t ’cha, Judge?” He nods to Lemon. “Mirandy told me all about the fact you’ve been blessed with that beautiful name and that you’ve blessed your baby girl with it, too.” He looks back my way. “Most women named Carlotta have enough kick in them to give you a couple of black eyes and keep you begging for more.”

  Evie laughs right along with him, and for the record she’s the only other person at the table openly amused by him.

  “So which Carlotta did you date first?” Evie asks him. “Cray-Cray or my feisty aunt Cha Cha?”

  “What’s your name, little lady?” He tips his head back and pretends to be serious for a moment.

  “Evie.”

  “Evie Stevie,” Carlotta says while thumping Evie on the back. “Come on, girl. You gotta put a little oomph in it.”

  “I agree.” Rooster shakes his head. “But I’d forget all that Evie Stevie business and head down to the nearest courthouse and change your name to Carlotta. The family’s already got five or six of ’em. I don’t see why a pretty girl like you would want to be left out of the loop.”

  Evie sucks in a quick breath. “Dad, can I? That would be like totally cool! And you could still call me Evie.”

  “No,” I don’t hesitate with the response.

  Noah chuckles. “Come on, Dad. You’re like totally cool, right?”

  I take a moment to glare at him, and so does Lemon.

  Evie taps into her phone then bounces in her seat. “Check this out. I just asked my Insta Pictures followers if I should legally change my name to Carlotta, and half of them already said yes—and almost all of them said they’d do it, too!”

  Cormack tosses her hands in the air. “That’s just what this world needs, more Carlottas.”

  Carlotta looks her way. “You’re just jealous, Quirky. Go on, Evie. I’ll drive you to the courthouse myself and we’ll use Lot’s credit card to pay for the deal.”

  Evie leans over and gives her a high-five. I’ll put my foot down later. It’s not worth getting Evie all worked up about it over dinner.

  “Well”—Lemon surveys the table—“it looks as if there’s going to be a Carlotta invasion happening soon. Lyla Nell will be in good company.”

  Did Lemon and I just end up on two different pages?

  “Rooster,” I say a little rougher than needed. “I noticed that you expertly evaded Evie’s question. Which Carlotta came first? The chicken or the egg.”

  “Who you calling a chicken?” Carlotta huffs.

  “You’re a spring chicken,” Mayor Nash assures her.

  Carlotta coos before offering up her lips, and within seconds they’re making out like a couple of teenagers.

  I wince as that last part flits through my mind because the last thing I want is my teenage daughter doing just that.

  “Which one?” I ask the man once again and he glances to Charlie.

  “I met Carlotta Senior first.” He nods my way. “We were hot and heavy. And when I tell you I’ve never been hotter or heavier—you’d better believe it, son.” He gravels out a laugh. “Interested in learning the ropes, are ya?” He dips his chin. “Don’t do it. Datin’ a mother-daughter duo only leads to double trouble.” His eyes shift to Charlie. “Especially if they turn on ya.”

  Evie’s eyes go wide. “Who turned on you first, Rooster? I bet it was Cray-Cray. She makes me give her hush money on the regular.”

  Carlotta’s eyes bulge Evie’s way.

  But Rooster bounce
s in his seat with glee. “Wish I would a thought of that.”

  I look at Evie. “What does Carlotta need hush money for?”

  Carlotta scoffs. “It’s clear you’ve never been a teenage girl, Sexy.”

  Mayor Nash tips his head. “He’s been a teenage boy.”

  “The king of all teenage boys.” Noah sheds those dimples my way and Cormack purrs like a kitten.

  “I can attest to that.” Cormack licks a line over her lips. “The things you did with your hands.”

  Lemon groans as if she was craving my touch right about now, and I tap her knee under the table.

  “Eww.” Evie retches as if she might vomit. “And I’m done eating before I ever started.” She scoots her chair away from the table a notch. “Way to go, Quirky.”

  Dinner shows up right on time, and we get right to work putting away as much as we can.

  Lemon leans in. “Did you notice Rooster evaded Evie’s second question, too? About which Carlotta turned on him first?”

  Noah nods. “I’ll get to the bottom of it. Grilling people is what I do for a living.” He catches Rooster’s attention. “So tell us the story. What went south between the three of you?”

  “Well”—Rooster dabs his mouth with a napkin—“I don’t know if you realize this, but these Sawyer women are the jealous type.”

  “I’ve noticed.” Cormack gives an aggressive nod.

  Something tells me her friendship with Good Time Charlie is coming to an end. I don’t think anyone would be all too sad about that.

  “Go on.” Lemon motions to him.

  Rooster’s playful demeanor darkens as he looks to Charlie and Carlotta. And both Charlie and Carlotta look as if they’re on tactical alert.

  “The women done turned on me at the very same time. Let’s just say they had some dicey dealings, got themselves in a bit of hot water, and decided I would be the fall guy. They set up a box trap, tossed out just enough Cha Cha bait for me to crawl on my belly into their snare, and WAPPO!” He slaps his hands together so loud, Noah reached for his weapon.

  If I had brought Ethel, Rooster would be dead right now. Noah has been trained to be patient. I’ve been trained to react on command.